I've been a little sad lately...

I've been kinda sad lately, and let me tell you why...

Just as any mother with a child born with a stroke would, I always hoped for the best, and we seemed to always get it. Olivia overcame her seizures, is bright, developmentally appropriate, and very healthy. Actually, even healthier then a lot of babies her age.

Maybe because everything was so awesome I was in denial. I knew the statistics... most babies with a stroke (or any other major brain injury) end up with cerebral palsy. I don't know if she will be diagnosed, but I have good feeling she will. My next doctor's apt is in 6 weeks.

She started walking about 2 weeks ago, and we are overjoyed. She is very smart and right on target developmentally. Cerebral palsy doesn't really effect how smart you are. It effects motor function...

She definitely has some incoordination and a limp when she walks. She leans to her left side with each step; her body seems to be curved to the left. Her left foot doesn't move and her left leg doesn't bend like her right one. Her left arm, although moves well, when she walks she has to keep it curled up most the time to keep her balance.

I feel somewhat guilty for being sad about her minor motor problems, especially when comparing it to some other mothers who had much poorer outcomes for their babies. She lived and is doing so well. I can't help but be a little sad, though, when thinking about the fact that she will most likely have limitations in life beyond her control (even though most of us do, they just aren't so apparent).

Will she ever be able to run? Will she feel inferior to her sister? Will she be discrimitated against? Will she be made fun of? Will she live a normal life?

When you guys see her walk, you may not even notice what I described. After all, she is a baby who just learned to walk. I've been watching her a lot and have noticed the things mentioned above. Don't get me wrong, she walks really well. It is just not as smooth or easy as most kids.

Again, we appreciate all of you who have been our support through our journey since Olivia has been born. You never know what the future will bring, and I am always optimistic. We are so lucky for what we have, and am certain whatever happens will have great purpose and meaning for our family and especially beautiful Olivia.